By Anonymous
This Valentine’s day
I wanted you to know how special you were
I bought you flowers
An assortment of beautiful flora
To show how beautiful you were
I took you to a museum
‘Cause you’re smart
Then I took you star gazing
And I pulled you in close
And whispered sweetly
“You are insignificant spec in an infinitely expanding universe.”
By Thomas Constant
I spoke with God last night
He was wise,
Happy.
He laid his head upon my lap,
Pricked up his ears,
And begged me for a treat.
My dog’s name is God.
By Richie Jones
I cannot help but stare at you
Your beautiful eyes, your luscious lips
And your radiant hair.
It gives off light and warmth
I would stroke it
But I am too afraid.
The firefighters come and put out the fire
In your hair.
I don’t like your hair as much now.
It’s a weird color, and it smells bad.
by Nixos Malfi
My grandfather with his dying breath
Whispered to me,
“Bros before hoes.”
He was really into youth culture.
1 By Lionel Cambridge
The tea in my mug is bitter
Like the taste of shame
That can only come with losing the world series.
Sip
I stand on home plate
I strike out with a full count
And the bases loaded
Sip
I miss a fly ball
The crowd boos
My mom calls me up
To call me butterfingers
Sip
I have been benched
I get drunk to numb the pain
And then go streaking across the field
My penis gets booed
The tea is finished.
My humiliation over
Until my next cup
1 By Jason Jackson
I hear a beating drum
It sounds out the rhythm of my soul
It starts with a wicked drum roll
Like the wickedness of being born
To a world where the main guitar riff
Hasn’t started yet
Cymbals crash
Just like I crashed my car last week
Into a pole
The beat grows faster
Into a frenzy
As I yell on the phone
To my credit card company
About my hospital bill.
The drums stop.
Like we all must stop
When we see a stop sign.
By Anonymous
You are so beautiful
That I would use a classy pickup line
To try and seduce you.
You are so attractive
That I’d be willing to split the check
Down the middle, were I to take you out.
You are so elegant
That I’d wait until the end of our first date
To try and sleep with you.
You are so amazing
That I’d be willing to break up with you
Over the phone the next day.
You make me feel
Like a better person.
by Dave Atkins
You are my aloe you
Soothe my burns you
Disinfect my wounds you
Make sweet sugary pulp in my
Juice
by Susanne Davenport
Choose a mystery profession
From a friend’s hand
And a corresponding mystery salary
Put little plastic rack-mounted children in your
Little plastic car
Which you drive past
Nameless sheet-white buildings
Buy the cheapest house you can
It doesn’t actually matter anyway
You still get to choose a life tile
Because in the end
It’s not the choices you’ve made
Or the money you’ve won
But simply the number of major
Milestones you’ve passed successfully
That earn you a spot
In Millionaire Acres
by Rory Doolittle
The sound of your voice
Is like the peal of church bells
High in a stone tower
It is fine once in a while
Enjoyable, even
But when I hear it every hour
It gives me a headache
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